Grand-Mother and Conceiving Mothers

Grand-Mother and Conceiving Mothers

 

The frontiers of medical science are expanding every day. But when a 70-year-old woman becomes one of the world’s oldest mothers, it’s time to ask if it’s right to enable older women to have babies. Sunday Times debates

 

Seventy-year-old Rajo Devi from Haryana had her first child at an age most women would have fulfilled their obligatory duties and retired from active life. Earlier this year, another 70-year-old gave birth to twins in Uttar Pradesh. Both 70-yearolds gave birth with the help of in-vitro fertilization (IVF). For both couples, it was an occasion to celebrate. For the medical fraternity, it’s a record. But is it really a cause for celebration? Should we be concerned that doctors are increasingly trying to play God?

 

For women like Rajo Devi, who didn’t have a child for 50 years of her married life, it is traumatic to live with infertility. In a country where a married woman’s status is determined by her childbearing capabilities, and an infertile woman is considered a bad omen, having a child makes a woman socially acceptable. In that sense Rajo Devi’s achievement calls for celebration. But it was at huge risk to the health of both mother and child.

 

Medical experts agree that a post menopausal pregnancy is a complicated affair. Older mothers run the risk of high blood pressure, diabetes, an abnormally placed placenta and a weak heart. Their babies are smaller and premature. And a 70-yearold’s lifespan is shorter than that of a younger mother. Does it make any sense to help a woman have a child by in-vitro fertilisation (IVF).

 

“Who is to decide at what age a woman should have a child?” asks IVF specialist Dr Indira Hinduja, who helped to deliver India’s first test tube baby in 1986. “As doctors we cannot refuse anyone who comes to us. Of course, we try to advise the patient, tell her about the pros and cons, check whether she is medically fit, counsel her and even after that she wants to go ahead, we have no right to say no,” she says.

 

More urban women are marrying late and having their first child only after the age of 35 and doctors say it’s unfair to deny them the right to be a mother. Leading infertility expert Dr Aniruddh Malpani plays devil’s advocate: “We don’t raise the same questions when a 13-year-old or a drug addict has a child. Even when a 75 year-old man has a child, nobody raises an eyebrow. Then why do we not have the same principles for a 70-year-old woman?” Malpani says it may be ethically difficult for a doctor to help a 45-year-old have a baby but deny the same right to a 46-year-old. “At what point does one decide it’s too late?” he asks.

 

But doctors admit they generally refuse at the outset when an older woman seeks help to conceive. But if the patient persists, they say, a doctor has to honour her request. “It’s very subjective. For a woman who has always dreamt of having a child, should we deny her that right? Especially when the technology is available,” argues Dr Nayana Patel, an IVF expert in Anand, Gujarat. Patel has been encouraging poor women to become surrogate mothers for childless rich couples. She says that a woman is allowed to go ahead with the pregnancy only after she is declared medically fit.

 

Hinduja argues that it is not about doctors trying to play God. “It’s not an experiment that we are doing. The treatment is available and we are helping the patient live her dreams. Don’t we do a kidney transplant on a 80-year-old, even when we know he has just few years to live?” Patel agrees. She says that at least 50% of modern medical science militates against nature. If technology can help a person in some way, why not use it, argues Patel. She recalls a 48-year-old patient who asked for help with a donor egg after her young son died. Patel helped her have another child. “It changed her life completely and I am proud that I brought her some joy.”

 

But Ranjana Kumari, director of Centre for Social Research, says the trend towards assisted conception, defying age and suitability, is placing childless women under ever greater pressure. “They will be pushed further to have a child. It just doesn’t help the woman in any way. These instances just highlight the patriarchal mindset which determines a woman’s worth according to her childbearing status. Maybe, couples should look at adoption instead,” she suggests.

 

Yes, but adoption is not easy in India. A couple can adopt a newborn only if their combined age is under 90. Neither parent can be more than 45 years. Adoption is not allowed for children over 12; prospective parents cannot be older than 55. With such severe restrictions, adoption may not be the first option for a childless couple. Add to that the desire to get pregnant. It’s a cherished aspiration for most women, says Dr Nandita Palshetkar, IVF specialist at Mumbai’s Lilavati Hospital. She recalls a 61-yearold patient who insisted she wanted to experience motherhood. “She had heard of IVF and wanted to go through it to fulfill her dream. I tried to dissuade her but she was adamant. We found her to be medically fit. She went through the entire process without any complications. Today, eight years later, she is a happy mother, enjoying her child”.

 

In common with other doctors, Palshetkar argues for the revolution in medical technology. It has given hope to so many, she says. The facility to store eggs, sperm, surrogacy are just some examples of the way medical science has changed the lives of childless couples all over the world. Malpani says it is important to view the issue issue philosophically. If God has given us the intelligence to invent new technologies, we should use it to change things, albeit within certain parameters. Kumari says those parameters must be set by society and the medical fraternity. Why play God? Perhaps the question to ask is: Are we ready to give up our dreams?

 

OLDEST MOTHER IN HISTORY

 

One of the earliest examples of an old woman giving birth is found in the Bible. Sarah, Abraham’s wife, had a son at the age of 90. When she learnt that she was to give birth at her advanced age, she laughed and later when the child was born, she cried, “God has made me into laughter; every one that hears will laugh at me.” (Genesis 21:6). The child was named, Isaac, which means laugh

 

OTHER RECORDS

 

In 1997, a 63-year-old woman in California gave birth. The woman had undergone in-vitro fertilization in order to become pregnant. With the help of a donor egg which was fertilized with sperms provided by her 60-year-old husband, she successfully conceived.

In the US, this year, a 56-year-old created medical history when she gave birth to triplets. Jaci Dalenberg became a surrogate mother to her daughter’s triplets. Her daughter had undergone a hysterectomy and could not have any more kids. It was Jaci’s idea to be surrogate mother to her daughter’s children.

 

(Source: The Times of India) 

Neither selfish, nor guilty!

Women are on a roll as they carve out “me” time and hit some unusual destinations, says Indrani Rajkhowa Banerjee

 

ON his mother’s 50th birthday, NRI Siddhant Natarajan gifted her a 10-day trip to Italy. And no, his dad was not included. “All her life she’s never had a break. I wanted to gift her ‘me’ time,” claims Natarajan. Many like Natarajan in India are encouraging their spouse, mother or even grandmother to let their hair down in exotic locales, in the safety of all-women travel groups.

 

Indian women are travelling like never before. A recent survey on personal travel conducted in major Asian markets revealed that 42 per cent of the women surveyed had travelled in the past 12 months, as compared to 37 per cent men. Age or personal status holds no bar today. Though single women comprise 60 per cent of the pie, single mothers, housewives, middle-aged professionals and energetic grandmothers are joining the joy ride.

 

Sumitra Senapaty who runs Women on Wanderlust, a travel club aimed at women on the go, observes, “Travel is an intrinsic part of lifestyle for today’s women. Earlier, a woman leaving her spouse and kids behind for a trip was practically unheard of. These days, it’s not only the women, but the family system that’s changing too. Today’s cosmopolitan travellers tend to possess higher education levels, more lucrative disposable incomes and are tech-savvy, confident and adventurous.”

 

Kolkata-based, 59-year-old school teacher, Sreela Bannerji claims she was “tired of changing nappies of her newly-born grandkid”. So, she decided to head out on an adventure of her own. “I caught up with two long-lost college friends and we decided to go white water rafting to Uttaranchal. Initially, I was apprehensive, but then excitement took the better of me. We had an exhilarating time, even falling off the raft twice, but we found ourselves after so many years!” says Bannerji. “If you think it’s just a metro phenomenon in India, think again. Though a large chunk of women travellers hail from Bengaluru, Mumbai, Delhi and Chennai, others come from places as far flung as Guwahati, Kanpur, Chandigarh, Udupi and Lucknow. And they are travelling solo, in pairs with their female companions, or as members of ‘women-only’ interest groups,” adds Suchna Hegde Shah of travel portal backpackerco.com.

 

In deciding to venture away from home and hearth, modern women are neither being selfish nor guilty! “Life’s hectic as a Web portal designer. So, I take these ‘alone’ trips to focus, relax and just do nothing! I’ve been mountain biking and kayaking and my husband is very supportive of these ‘unwinding’ trips,” holds 36-year-old Soumya Tiwari.

 

Almost 80 per cent of women consider travel important for their lifestyle according to the survey conducted in 13 Asian countries. Travel figures indicate around four out of every 10 Asian trips are by women

travellers — up significantly from just 1 in 10, in the mid 1970s.

 

“Health and wellness are high on the list when women travellers plan their holidays. Adventure trips are also in,” says Senapaty who has arranged trips to Rajasthan, Egypt, Uttaranchal, Ladakh, Turkey, Italy, East Europe, South Africa and China. On an average, she gets 20-25 women on board per trip in the age group between 25-60 years. “Even grandmothers are travelling with us. And the best part is that spouses and kids are supportive. I have husbands and sons calling me up to gift a travel plan to their wives and spouses,” she concludes.

 

Travel tips

 

l Watch your back. Don’t accept drinks from strangers.

 

l Be on your guard, especially in new surroundings.

 

l Adhere to the tradition of the place. A mini skirt may not go down well in a traditional country.

 

l Stick to your group. If alone, don’t act different from the crowd.

 

l Carry your passport, credit card, copy of the flight ticket and other details on e-mail as back-up.

 

l Place a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on your hotel door at night. Check the window and door locks.

 

 (Source- The Times of India)